Finding a Wife

I shared the following article on a couples Facebook group and many people appreciated it so I decided to put here too to inspire anyone that it could.

A challenge I know many people face once the idea of starting a family comes up is finding "the right one". That perfect partner that you will live happily ever after with until the end of time. One that you would be in perfect harmony on every part of life together. This is a dilemma I was personally going through when I thought I'd come of age. I couldn't find the right one. I was living in Githurai, A suburb of Nairobi city in Kenya(I know you say much about Githurai.Well, much of it is true). Not many would pride themselves as having stayed there for various reasons. Someone would also argue that you can't find good-natured persons from there. Yes you can. From whatever place someone is, there would always be excuses of every kind on about everything. Whatever your Githurai may be, you can always find the good in it. Read on.

I lived there when it's name was really hot in different aspects-mostly negative- late 90s. I couldn't spot anyone I'd consider spending a lifetime with. Not even one. Even more challenging, I wasn't one to test many and see the right one. Times are risky. They've always been. You've got one life and you've got to be careful even as God takes care of you. I had to overcome this stage to move to the next.

The Bible mentions that "Plans are established by seeking advice; so if you wage war, obtain guidance." -Proverbs 20:18
Marriage is a lifelong war. A good war I'd say. Don't move into it blindly.

Having known that, I sought the counsel of a few people. Wakui being most notable. He owned the small shop near where I stayed. I used to pick my supplies every evening on my way home(I must confess that mostly, I took on credit. - Thanks Wakui). Once in a while we'd have a small chat when he was not so busy. We would talk over just anything, from business to politics and all. He was a respectable middle aged man with an admirable family. Yes, he had some beautiful daughters but still in school. They never came to mind.

One evening as we were chatting, I said to him; "Wakui, I have a question for you."

"What is it Muiruri?" He responded. 

I said. "I feel that I have come of age to have a home/family. I admire you and your family and you inspire me. My problem is one. I have looked all around but cannot find a suitable girl for a wife. What should I do?"

"Muiruri!" He called and paused. A long pause. I was wondering whether I was supposed to answer that.

"There are two things." He continued.
"ONE: Whatever is meant to be, will be. You must meet with what lies ahead if only you keep moving. Therefore, keep moving.
TWO: If you are searching for an angel, then you better go to heaven."

WOW! That was quite an answer. Encouraging yes, but I wasn't expecting number two.
What he really meant though is that you can never meet a 100% individual. You've got to look at the major qualities you are interested in on your prospective partner but expect areas you may not so much like. Commit to one another and be there to complement each other in the relationship since likewise, you are not 100%.

Well! To cut a long story short, I wasn't ready yet to go to heaven. So I went on my knees and asked God to send an angel for me down here. He was faithful and remains faithful. He did it. He gave me one of His beautiful daughters.

It's been now 21 years and two boys(sorry.......... two men).

A quote I came to hear later on that complements Wakui's wisdom is, "Marriage is the coming together of two imperfect beings to form a perfect union."
I can't remember the author. I know you may also dispute on the perfect union part but I put it as I took it and like it.

Thank you for reading. If it inspired you, we'll be glad to know. Please comment below. God bless you.


Remember,
MARRIAGE WORKS.
Everything perfect? Not really! But the best thing is.......... it works.




Anthony S Muiruri